The Invasion

It is the year 1609 and the great explorer Henry Hudson was sailing through what is now the New York Bay. His men were tired and suffering with much exhaustion. As captain he thought it best to set up camp on one of the many spits of land in this area. In the distance he saw a perfect spot of what is now the “Cape Liberty Cruise Port.” Henry Hudson’s fleet set camp here and rested not knowing what was to come.

What the crew did not know was that when they stopped in Ireland, a band of Leprechauns made their way onto the ship. The little people wanted to get away from all the persecution they faced in the homeland. So they thought it best to go on the ship heading toward the Americas and create a new life there.

Immediately when the ships were docked, the Leprechauns made their way into the woods. They explored the land and noticed tribes of Indians had built little settlements. The Leprechauns did not want to share the land with anyone else. Their size made it very difficult to even think about fighting the Native Americans, so they dug underground. It would be here that the little people would build an underground world that would last hundreds of years without ever being noticed by the humans that lived above them, until the year 2009.

It is now the year 2009 in Bayonne New Jersey. A lot has changed since the time of Henry Hudson. Now the area that was once unexplored was populated by millions of people. Brooklyn, Manhattan, Staten Island, Jersey City, and Bayonne are all among what make up the start of the Hudson River and New York Bay. People of all races from all over the world inhabit this area. Bayonne, which is one of the smaller towns, is where the Leprechauns built their underground settlement.

Johnny is a sewage worker. He was just a regular guy that was just trying to make a living. The job that the city had planned for him over the next couple of months was to replace an old pipe that was underground behind the A and P supermarket. The plan was to take the old pipe out and replace the new pipe further underground. This would be the job site for the next two months.

He began digging on a Monday morning. Within the week the sewage pipe was reached. It was removed and the other pipe was brought in. During the dig to put the new pipe in the dirt suddenly the ground crashed. It seemed there was some sort of cavern underneath the back of the A and P. It was never discovered because no one ever dug that deep underground. Johnny took it upon himself to go into the cavern to find out if something of importance was down there.

Johnny began to search the cavern. It had a gold glow to it. It was strange because the sunlight did no reach all the way down. As they reached the bottom he noticed there were small houses made of rocks. They were not human sized houses. It was almost as if they were made for Barbie dolls.

The dirt pile that crashed into this little settlement seemed to destroy any source of life that lived here. As Johnny looked around a little closer, he noticed small people lying dead underneath the rubble. It looked as if the tiny individuals could be classified as Leprechauns. This sewage worker discovered something that was never supposed to be found out.

When he went back up to the surface all the public seemed to find out in a matter of hours. Johnny brought it to the attention of the mayor. He was so excited about this new find in the town. In a matter of days he ordered digging of all the empty lots in the city including all parks. The whole town would be dug out to find out if there were more of these leprechauns living.

There were a couple of citizens that did not like the idea. One lady, Dawn, in particular complained the most.

“I think this is totally barbaric.” Dawn said. “If there are little creatures down below just leave them alone. They never bothered us.”

The next couple of weeks were very hectic in Bayonne. Piles upon piles of dirt were all over the place. Not one cavern was found with this search. It could mean that the only little settlement of Leprechauns was behind the A and P.

It is a few months later. The month is March and nearing St. Patrick’s Day. Little Jimmy the eight year old son of Dawn was in front of his house playing catch with a neighborhood friend. All of a sudden on his steps a small Leprechaun was watching them. The creature looked almost like a pilgrim with the way he dressed. He had a red beard and dark forest green attire. When the boys took a good look at him, he disappeared in thin air. The only thing that was left when the creature vanished was a small rain bow.

City Hall was packed the night after Little Jimmy told his mother what he had seen. Everyone wanted to know what was going to happen. One man in the audience, Malcolm, had this gut feeling that something bad was going to happen.

“Yo man, this stuff aint right. These Leprechauns are mad as hell man. They gonna kill us man. We killed them now they comin fo us.”

The cops quickly escorted Malcolm out of the meeting. They did not believe for one second that this poor man may be right. The very next day, in what was known Hudson County Park, a gigantic pile of shoes was in the middle of the baseball field. It was as if it appeared there in the blink of an eye. At this time the Mayor was at a loss of what to do.

More and more strange incidents were taking place throughout the town. One morning, the town awoke to a marvelous sight on all their houses. Four Leaf Clovers grew on every single house. They covered them like vines. City Hall was the only building, however, that had a message written on it. It seemed that the Leprechauns wanted the people to know something. Engraved in a gold script on the front of City Hall were the words “We are coming.”

Johnny the sewage worker knew something needed to be done. When he went home that day he looked through his old phone book. He thought of the best idea. His cousin who lived in Ireland would probably know how to handle this situation. The Irish would be the only people on earth who would know how to deal with Leprechauns. Johnny dialed the number.

“Hey Sean, its your cousin Johnny.”

“Johnny,” Sean said. “Good to hear from ya boyo. How are ya?”

“Well not too good. I’m assuming that your heard whats goin on in my town.”

“Yes I did hear. I was surprised you have not called me earlier.”

“Well instead of me explaining the story, why don’t you just tell me what I should do.”

“That’s an easy one lad. The only thing you have to do is give the little ones whiskey and they’ll pass out.”

“Wait, I have to get them drunk?”

“Yeah, it’s the only way to get rid of them. The little buggars can’t hold their liquor.”

“So that is the only way to get rid of them?”

“Yes and if you want them away for good you send them to a far away land.”

“I’ll put them on one of those cruise ships to the Bahamas. That will do them in. Ok Sean I have to buy a crap load of whiskey. I’ll call you for Christmas.”

“Ok boyo, I’m glad I can help. Talk to ya later.”

So when Johnny got off the phone with his cousin Sean, he called up Malcolm. He had a job at Jack Daniels whiskey factory and had canisters upon canisters available to him. So they get the alcohol and put it in Hudson County Park. The only thing they could do now is wait and see if the little people take the bait.

Late that night, the Leprechauns started burrowing above ground. They were planning on attacking the people in their sleep. These creatures had no sense of honor. One of the Leprechauns smelt something in the air.

“Do you smell that in the air Laddies. It be the smell o the whiskey!”

So they found the gigantic canisters of the liqueur and immediately began to drink it. One of the weaknesses about being a Leprechaun is they can’t resist a drink. They also have a problem with the amount they chug into their systems. The little people drank so much that night they completely blacked out.

In the morning the citizens awoke from a restless slumber. As they walked down to the canisters, they saw the creatures passed out on the floor. Johnny and a few police officers collected them and brought them to Cape Liberty where the cruise ships are. In a matter of hours, all of the Leprechauns were shipped to the Bahamas. That day was a glorious day for Johnny the sewage worker. He was on the top of the world that day. It was the first time in his life he took charge and truly fixed a bad situation.